The Present & The Future

Apodiform has unfortunately been put on the back-burner for some time now. If you didn't already know, the last few months I've had a son, built a new company and basically changed my lifestyle completely. I love the direction my life is headed and couldn't feel anymore blessed to be surrounded by so much love and be working with such incredibly gifted and talented friends. I simply haven't had the time or the drive to focus on my own music.

There will be days where I hop on the piano in the middle of my work day or after changing a diaper to find I've got some new ideas bouncing around in this cluttered head of mine. There will come a day when I will simply have to get some of these ideas out of my head to make room for everything else. I can't say when that new material will be completed and produced but I can say that it will be sometime in the near future.

So, thanks for your continued love and support for my family, my band and the musicians that I work with...

Apodiform will be back soon...

Non Omnia Moriar

I've been asked about the lyrics to Non Omnia Moriar so I figured I'd just post and explain.

This song consists of the last dying words of 8 individuals. Non Omnia Moriar means "Not all of me will die" in Latin, in case you didn't know.

So...here ya go...you can get the song free here as well >> www.apodiform.bandcamp.com

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Non Omnia Moriar
Lyrics:

“Turn up the lights, I don’t want to go home in the dark” - O. Henry/William Sidney Porter
“Oh my poor soul, what is to become of you...where will you go?” -Cardinal Mazarin

take all your preconceptions... and leave them alone
there’s something waiting for us
something waiting for us
out there

“The fog is rising...” - Emily Dickinson
“I have failed...” - Jean Paul Sartre
“What a fool I’ve been” - Winston Churchill
“Now comes the mystery” - Henry Ward Beecher
“It’s my turn to take a leap in the darkness” - Thomas Hobbes

take all your preconceptions... and leave them alone
there’s something waiting for us
something waiting for us
out there

can you see the light getting closer
can you feel the love taking over
finally we’ve come to discover
that we’re long overdue for surrender

finally as for my spirit
Father into thy hands I commend it - Jesus Christ
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Patience is not only a virtue, but a necessity for a happy existence.

My friend Taylor Muse has been mad at me for the last 3-4 months for starting a blog...then not blogging...ever. So, in an effort to make my friend love me again...I'm diving back in. I hope you're smiling Taylor...and you too Leah...and you too Harper.

On the eve of what will be the week I become a Dad, I'm reminded why my Dad stressed to me all those years that patience is truly a virtue. Hollie and I were told a due date of May 15th for Micah...and on May 20th...we were told that's probably wrong. So, here we sit as happy as can be knowing that our son is perfectly fine and that we're right on time with everything. It was a long stressful 5 days though of simply not knowing why things are taking so long to happen.
We know that sometimes babies can be two weeks late or more but that simply did not matter to us. My family is known for being punctual and even Hollie kept saying "I have a feeling the 15th is the day!" How was I supposed to react when the 16th rolled around? I expected a son on the 15th...not the 16th...or the 17th...or the 23rd.
Even though all has been perfectly fine with Hollie and Micah...I was just so ready I just couldn't stop thinking about it every second of every day and it started wearing me down. It's like being so excited and eager for Christmas morning...but not knowing what day Christmas is...

Hollie and I are still excited but extremely calm and relaxed about everything now. We're still holding out for a natural birth and It'll happen when it's supposed to happen...I guess on Micah's terms. We'll be serving the eviction notice soon though. He's waaaay too comfortable in there. I'm also tired of gaining this sympathy weight and Hollie can't wait to lay on her stomach again so come on Micah...let's do this thing!

We are so blessed to be surrounded by so many loving and caring friends who are just as excited as we are...and some I think even more. You know who you are. We love you very much and we're so thankful that you are a part of this with us.

A picture says a 1000 words...

When I write music I usually try to find art work that goes along with the song, or I'll take a picture of something that I feel represents what the music is trying to say. The first song that we released this year called 'No Compromise' has this photo as it's artwork. I took it while I was working on the song and really didn't know why I married the two until I recently thought about it.

When I started work on the new apodiform music and invited 3 good friends to join me, I truly felt like it was a new beginning for me musically. This whole process so far has been a renewal. Music feels completely new and fresh, like I'm playing instruments for the first time. Something inside me has been rejuvenated and the drive to learn more ways to perfect my craft has come alive.

The piano in that picture is the first instrument I ever wrote a song on. I grew up writing and learning music on it and it now sits in the music room of my house. I don't remember a second of my life without it. Countless hours have gone by with my hands on those keys...at every age of my life...since I was 5 or so.
I guess I subconsciously used that picture for the first piece we created this year because it's as if I've written a first song again. It's like I'm getting a chance to start over...and it feels good.

Another thought that feels good...is that my sons little hands will play that piano one day...that just put a giant smile on my face.

2010: The Year I Make Contact

On the eve of a new decade, I find myself pondering the life changing event that will happen to me in the coming year. I'm not sure I've totally put my head around the thought of becoming a father yet. I see my beautiful wife changing everyday. I've seen the ultrasound pictures and videos of this little life that we're creating together. Even though I know exactly what's going on...I feel I don't have a clue how this will change me.
The day that Hollie and I found out we're having a boy, an emotion came over me that I've never experienced before. I can only imagine the emotion that will arrive with the birth of my son. I can't wait to meet him.

Tonight something will happen that only happens every 2.5 years or so, and every 20 years or so on the same night. A Blue Moon will fill the sky over all mankind as they rejoice and welcome in a new year. The last time a Blue Moon happened on New Years Eve was 1990.
I've been truly blessed since the last blue moon. The last 20 years laid the foundation of who I believed I should be in this life. The next 20 years will define who I truly am.

My Top 5 Live Experiences

Radiohead | Kid A/Amnesiac Tour
June 18th 2001 Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion Houston (The Woodlands) Texas

Hollie and I sat 3rd row center-right and witnessed perfection on a full moon night at one of our favorite venues of all time. Hollie grew up 2 minutes away from the Pavilion and as a child she actually rode her bike on the stage when no one was around. I saw my first major concert there (which I'll speak of again in this blog), and it was the first show we attended there together. So yeah, this meant a lot to us.
This show blew us away. We knew we liked Radiohead a lot and thought their songs were amazing, but we walked away from this show feeling that they were now one of our favorite bands of all time. From the first bass note of National Anthem to the final chorus of The Bends "I wanna live, breathe, I wanna be part of the human race!" I was in awe. I really feel like I didn't blink the whole show. The opening act Beta Band was a no show due to being stuck at the border for some reason, so the band actually played around 2 hours. It was also obvious they were feeling really good that night because they did 2 encores. Completely breathtaking.

SETLIST:
01. National Anthem
02. Morning Bell
03. Lucky
04. My Iron Lung
05. Knives Out
06. Packt Like Sardines In A Crushd Tin Box
07. Bones
08. Exit Music (For a Film)
09. No Surprises
10. Dollars and Cents
11. Karma Police
12. I Might Be Wrong
13. Pyramid Song
14. Paranoid Android
15. Idioteque
16. Everything In Its Right Place
--1st encore--
17. You And Whose Army?
18. Street Spirit (Fade Out)
19. Climbing Up The Walls
20. How To Disappear
--2nd encore--
21. Talk Show Host
22. The Bends

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Lollapalooza II
September 5th 1992 Fort Bend County Fairgrounds Rosenberg Texas

How much fun can a 17 year old kid have the summer before his Senior year?
When you look at the lineup of this festival you'll know what I'm talking about when I say that this hot Saturday in September of '92 was a blast. I really feel like I went to this show not knowing much about the bands I was about to see. Of course I loved Pearl Jam and mostly all of the headlining acts, but no one knew about the up and coming bands on the side-stages. Can you believe that Rage Against The Machine, Stone Temple Pilots, Cypress Hill & Porno For Pyros were actually not big enough at the time to headline. My head was spinning from all the amazing music around me. I didn't know where to go or who to see next. The highlight of course was Pearl Jam and Eddie climbing all over the place. However, the most memorable part for me could have been tragic. I was intentionally right up front for Ice Cube, which was a riot, talking to my friends as they set up the next band. Little did we know that Ministry was about to tear the place apart. Right when their first song started...a mosh pit engulfed around us and I was trampled to the ground. As I was being stepped on I lifted my hand up as high as I could and some big shirtless dude grabbed it and pulled me up and then put me on the top of the crowd and yelled "get outta here!" I then crowd surfed all the way to the back of the crowd and landed right on my feet. I remember screaming "Hell Yeah!!" and then thinking I had no idea where any of my friends were now. Awesome.

Main Stage: Pearl Jam | Red Hot Chili Peppers | Ministry | Ice Cube | Soundgarden | The Jesus and Mary Chain | Lush
Side Stages: Rage Against the Machine | Stone Temple Pilots | Porno for Pyros | Cypress Hill | House of Pain | Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. | Skrew | Jim Rose Circus + others

Pearl Jam
1. Why Go
2. Even Flow
3. Jeremy
4. Deep
5. Alive
6. Porch
7. Garden
8. State Of Love And Trust
9. Baba O'Riley

Soundgarden
1. Room a 1000 Years Wide
2. Jesus Christ Pose
3. Outshined
4. Drawing Flies
5. Ugly Truth
6. Rusty Cage
7. Slaves and Bulldozers
8. Searching With My Good Eye Closed

Red Hot Chili Peppers
1. Give It Away
2. Organic Anti-Beat Box Band
3. Bullet Proof
4. My Automobile
5. Suck My Kiss
6. Subterranean Homesick Blues
7. Funky Crime
8. Nobody Weird Like Me
9. If You Have To Ask
10. Stone Cold Bush
11. Blood Sugar Sex Magik
12. The Needle And The Damage Done
13. Higher Ground
14. Magic Johnson
15. Under The Bridge
16. Subway To Venus
17. Poptones
18. Party On Your Pussy
19. Me And My Friends
Encore
1. Crosstown Traffic

Ministry
1. N.W.O.
2. Burning Inside
3. Deity
4. Supernaut (Black Sabbath cover)
5. TV Song
6. Just One Fix
7. Thieves
8. So What
9. Stigmata
10. Breathe
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Depeche Mode | Nitzer Ebb - World Violation Tour
July 5th 1990 Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion Houston (The Woodlands) Texas

I was a child in the 80's when I first discovered music and Depeche Mode was the first band I ever really fell in love with. I had all their tapes, remixes, b-sides, videos, posters, buttons, hairstyles, leather jackets...whatever Depeche Mode did...I copied 'em. Now to finally be able to see them live and in person and extremely loud...that was HUGE for me. This was the very first major concert I'd see and I remember the feeling after of "I'm going to play music just like that forever!!"
The show was also 2 days after my 15th birthday. That's more than likely why my parents let me go with my brother and all his friends all the way to the north side of Houston for a "rock-n-roll concert."

1. Kaleid (Intro)
2. World in My Eyes
3. Halo
4. Shake the Disease
5. Everything Counts
6. Master and Servant
7. Never Let Me Down Again
8. Waiting For The Night
9. First Martin Gore acoustic track, which was one of the following:
* I Want You Now
* Here is the House
* Little 15
10. Second Gore acoustic track, which was one of the following:
* World Full of Nothing
* Blue Dress
* Sweetest Perfection
11. Clean
12. Stripped
13. Policy of Truth
14. Enjoy the Silence
15. Strangelove
16. Personal Jesus
17. Black Celebration
18. A Question of Time
19. Behind the Wheel
20. Route 66 (Sung by Dave Gahan)



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Pearl Jam 1993
November 11th Denton Texas University of North Texas Coliseum
November 20th Nacogdoches Texas Stephen F. Austin Arena

I put both of these shows together on this list as one because they were the same tour and same month. I was in my first semester at College and nothing was going to stop me from driving all over Texas to see Pearl Jam. My roommate and I couldn't believe they were coming to North Texas Univ. and Stephen F. Austin!! My brother was actually going to SFA at the time as well...so we knew we had to go to that one and crash with him. That show was crazy because Dave, Pearl Jam's drummer passed out on stage and Blackie Onassis from Urge Overkill came out and play the rest of the set with them. I remember thinking how cool that was. The best thing about this show, was that afterwards my brother and my friends all went to the Fredonia Hotel (the only nice hotel in Nac) and found Pearl Jams bus. We actually got to meet and talk to for quite some time I might add, Eddie, Stone and Mike. I remember thinking after that whole experience "I'm gonna play music just like that forever!!"
Another crazy thing is that my drummer and good friend Richie Deegan (who I've mentioned multiple times in other blogs) was actually at that show. He went to SFA as well.

Denton Setlist: (Opening Band - The Butthole Surfers)
* Go
* Animal
* Why Go
* Deep
* Jeremy
* Dissident
* Even Flow
* Daughter(Footsteps)
* Rearviewmirror
* Whipping
* Alive
* Black
* State Of Love And Trust
* Once
* Happy Birthday
* Glorified G
* Garden
* Porch
* Leash
* Yellow Ledbetter

Nacogdoches Setlist: (Opening Band - Urge Overkill)
* Daughter
* Glorified G
* Why Go
* Deep
* Take Me
* Even Flow
* Go
* Animal
* Alone
* Sonic Reducer
* Garden
* Jeremy
* Blood
* Alive
* Yellow Ledbetter
* Footsteps
* Throw Your Arms Around Me
* Rockin' In The Free World
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U2|Muse 360 Tour
October 14th 2009 Reliant Stadium Houston Texas

Hollie and I wanted to treat my brother to a birthday gift he'd never forget. We decided to take him to see his favorite band of all time. It turns out that Muse is now one of his favorite bands of all time.
I had the pleasure of seeing U2 & Muse twice on this tour, in Dallas and Houston. Both show were great but this Houston show was unbelievable. If you haven't seen U2 live before...do it...you won't regret it. The sound, lights, set, atmosphere, everything about it was amazing. Seeing such an incredible band with my beautiful wife on my left and my brother on my right...you just can't beat that.

U2 Setlist:
1. Breathe
2. Get On Your Boots
3. Magnificent
4. Mysterious Ways
5. Beautiful Day / Here Comes The Sun (snippet)
6. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For / Stand By Me (snippet)
7. Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of
8. No Line On The Horizon
9. Elevation
10. Your Blue Room
11. Until The End Of The World
12. The Unforgettable Fire
13. City Of Blinding Lights
14. Vertigo
15. I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight / Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) (snippet) / Two Tribes (snippet)
16. Sunday Bloody Sunday
17. MLK
18. Walk On / You'll Never Walk Alone (snippet)
encore(s):
19. One / Amazing Grace (snippet)
20. Where The Streets Have No Name
21. Ultra Violet (Light My Way)
22. With Or Without You
23. Moment of Surrender

Muse Setlist:
1. Uprising
2. Map of the Problematique
3. Supermassive Black
4. Hysteria
5. Undisclosed Desires
6. Starlight
7. Time Is Running Out
8. Plug In Baby

Some of my favorite shows I've been a part of...

I wish I still had the poster for the Pardoned Fugitives show we did back in '93 w/ MooBar, but all I have left is this sticker we made for friends. That was the first real club show I ever played. I played drums but then switched with Brandon and played guitar and sang while he played drums...so much fun. I'm sure we sounded terrible but who cares.


When I was with Mastema we played numerous shows with our friends Myra Mains...and if I'm not mistaken, this was one of the first ones.


We had a home club in Longview called the Ocean Club that we played all the time. We considered it our default club that we could book a show at anytime and we knew friends and fans would flood the place. This was a Halloween show we did, and I think Engine #9 opened for us even though they weren't on the flyer.


This was a big one. Myra Mains had a huge CD Release show in 1996. There was a ton of promotion through the big local radio station 99X, tickets sold all over East Texas, and we shared the bill with all our friends. I think I blew my amp at this show.


Another show that happened in '96 wasn't a really good one by any means...but it now means a lot to me. This was the festival in Nacogdoches that I shared the stage with someone I wouldn't meet until 2006. My good friend Richie Deegan played drums in a band called Level and I was in Mastema. I also can't believe Drowning Pool played this thing as well. Also...nice poster...geeeez.


Thursday, Sept. 29th 2005 @ Stubb's
I played a lot of great shows with Cord, but this was special because this was the night I'd meet good friends Jason Poe & Corbin Petersen. They were playing in a band called The Professional Americans...we would soon join forces in Jets Under Fire.
This is a clipping from the Austin Chronicle ad for Stubb's that Hollie saved for me. Thanks Baby :)


This could very well be my favorite show I've ever played with a band. Jets Under Fire released our CD "Kingdoms" to an awesome crowd at (now closed) Merkaba Lounge. Our friends The Soldier Thread, Pompeii & Sounds Under Radio joined us for an amazing night. Everything just felt really good that night.


I had to add our tour that year. We played some really fun and some really crappy shows on that tour, but we had a blast.


As you can see by the the bill, both of my bands Cord and Jets Under Fire shared the stage for the first time. This was Cord's CD Release show for "Songs For Your Season" the record I recorded with them a year earlier. It was fun to play a show with those guys again and also to play with Alpha Rev for the first time.


I've met some really close friends while playing music and Taylor Muse is no exception. Taylor leads a band called Quiet Company and this was our first show to play with those guys.


This show however, SUCKED!! Just kidding...I loved it. Quiet Company CD Release show w/ The Rocketboys at the Mohawk...can't go wrong with that. I think I had a smile on my face the whole night.


Another great Mohawk show we played was a Pop Unknown Reunion Show.



Anytime we played with Alpha Rev we knew we'd have a great time. These were two of the best.



I always have a great time playing SXSW, no matter how big the shows are or where we play. It's just fun making music in the middle of all that madness. Playing 6 shows in a week can drain you, but it's well worth it. Surefire also put on a great showcase that year.



Both these shows we're fun because the bands we played with were amazing musicians.

So yeah, those are some of my favorite shows...but if I find some more posters of others I loved I'll add 'em.